My Mother Died Today

Written December 27, 2020.

My mother died today.

A long-expected shock.

A dreaded relief.

She’d been sick for a long time. We knew her days were limited. Nothing prepared us for the end. I’ve never lived on earth without her. Part of me has dislodged itself and floated into eternity, like tears breaking loose from my eyes. Death never feels right.

We watched her fade slowly since her diagnosis years ago. Her quality of life took hits at each turn. I told myself I’d lost her already to brain disease, so her last breath wouldn’t bother me much.

I was wrong.

There’s something so incomprehensible about death. Though seeing her on Tuesday she could barely squeeze my hand, the fact that today her lifeless fingers now stiffen grips at my heart. How can someone pass out of earthly existence? It makes no sense. God has set eternity in our hearts. Non-existence doesn’t fit there.

Jill Pritchard, born April 6, 1925 in Gary, Indiana. Married Richard Wilson and bore four children–Stuart, Jennifer, Scott, and Kristin. She had aspirations of being an actress, went to college to be a speech therapist, but then poured herself into raising four children. She filled her after-childrearing years with charity and church work, kicking back with the love of her life, my dad. Jill loved her grandchildren dearly, making room in her life for long visits and lots of activities.

To my eyes, she grew more beautiful with each stage of life. Her sparkling dark eyes and radiant smile never lost their dazzle for me. My mother was always happy to see me, and always warm and affectionate in parting. I will try to keep a little of her alive by greeting and bidding farewell in style.

So for now I bid a warm farewell to you, Mom.

My heart is breaking. See you in the morning.

My mother died today.

My hope of a better world did not.

84 thoughts on “My Mother Died Today

  1. Herb Reply

    Most everything written here really shows – I need help! My 88 year old wife has been
    in nursing home over 4 years due to stroke, and I am living a nightmare of
    depression. Now all that can be done is look at her through a window. I have prayed
    over and over. Hoping that there could be help (a real person) close by. Have watched
    “Multitude” many times. At one time knew Paul Conneff at Norwalk Church (probably
    some 35 years ago). I guess I shall cry and scream again, waiting ………

  2. Ryan Reply

    Hi Jennifer,

    I’m sorry for the loss of your mom. She sounded like a sweet lady and I know your hurting now. I think I’ll feel the same at the lost of my mother. I wanted to just let you know I feel for you, praying for you ,and your family.

    Psalm 9:9, “The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.”

    Psalm 22:24, “For he has not despised or disdained the suffering of the afflicted one; he has not hidden his face from him but has listened to his cry for help.”

    • Annie Reply

      I’m so sorry for the loss of your mother. I pray God will strengthen you in a very special way during this time.

    • Jean Schneider Reply

      Jennifer Jill, we are so sorry to hear that your beloved Mother has passed from this old world on to that deep sleep. May she rest in peace until Jesus comes and calls her forth to meet Him and you in the sky with glorified bodies someday! Having lost both our dads and my stepdad in the last 5-15 years, we know what it’s like to lose a parent. No more dad wisdom or jokes at family get togethers. But a mom, that we have no clue about. Both our moms are doing well, but are going nuts with the covid-19 restrictions. Neither of them is sick enough for us to be able to see them.
      Were you able to get to see your mom enough before she was gone? Give yourself time to grieve and give yourself permission to do it in the way that is most meaningful and effective for you. Remember, “weeping may endure for a night, but JOY comes in the morning.” Psalm 30:5. Hugs and love, from John and Jean

  3. Denise Carter Reply

    Jennifer, I’m so sorry for your loss. Though your mother was blessed with a long life, I know it’s hard to say good bye. Thank you for sharing some beautiful things about her. Some day soon we’ll see Jesus coming in the clouds for us and what a family reunion it will be!
    May God give you & your family peace & comfort during this difficult time.

  4. Erika P Reply

    I am so sorry for your loss. My father passed away in January and I don’t know that the pain will ever fade while here on earth. Life without someone so close to our hearts, is crushing, devastating, and it feels so unfair. I am thankful to God that we have a great hope that we will be able to see them again on resurrection day. I Will pray for your and your family.

  5. Athlene Reply

    Hi Jen,
    The inevitableness of death is something we can never get accustomed to. However, according to 2 Cor1:3 & 4
    blessed be God, even the Father of mercies, and God of all comfort…may God wrap His gentle arms around you and your family members during this difficult time with the re-assurance that He’ll keep you all in the palm of His hands.

    You are in our prayers.

    Athlene I

  6. grace Reply

    sorry to hear this Jennifer, truly we wont use to death! I really reasonate with your writting, as i also buried my mother three weeks ago. to see a lifeless person is not easy and for an extra active person, it is really a shock,
    May you we prepare for that resurrection morning with more zeal after seeing that death is real and that human medicine/natural treatments are not eternal life, Only GOD will give us that back again

  7. Cynthia Depka Reply

    I am so sorry for the loss of your mother here on earth! Sending prayers for peace and comfort for you and your family.

  8. Nathaniel Oregon Reply

    Hello Jennifer,
    SO sorry for the loss of your mother. 🙁 Praying for you and your family. Thank you for being sharing your pain with us and allowing us to pray for you and your family during this time. Matthew 5:4

    • Vivan Mann Reply

      We are sadden by the loss of your mother. We know of that pain that seems to never fade away. God will strengthen you and one day we will never have to say goodbye. Keep looking up!

  9. Laurie Snyman Reply

    So sorry to hear of the loss of your mother. What a beautiful tribute you gave her. So nice you had a mother that gave you a strong foundation and lots of love. Also, you were blessed to have a mom who loved to be a grandmother who spent time loving your kids. Such a loss.
    I take care of my 91-year-old mother and I know it will leave a huge separation when she passes, which you are forced to experience right now. Hugs and prayers to you as you navigate this new, painful separation for a time, and find a way to cope with ths new stage in your life. Prayers for your whole family.

  10. Oleta Emerson Reply

    Sorry to hear of the loss of your mother…it is never easy to loose those we love

  11. Louise Sanders Reply

    Dear Jennifer
    So sorry to hear about your Mom. When they have been sick and their quality of life isn’t good you can’t wish them back but it sure hurts to have them go. My heart goes out to you. As my dear friend told me when I lost my Mom,” the sun will shine again”. It takes time but eventually you can remember all the good times and even laugh at some of those memories. You’re in our prayers. Wayne and Lulu

  12. Dennis Kavanaugh Reply

    Death is sad, Jennifer, and it never feels right. When someone suffers as your mom did, we long for her to be in the Lord’s presence, free from pain, but the sense of loss remains. I pray that Jesus comforts you and your family in this time of loss.
    You are an encouragement to many, and your mom’s legacy lives on in you.

  13. Elisabeth Grothe (Betty Quittelier) Reply

    Dear Jennifer, Your sentiments about your dear mother are much appreciated. Thank you for sharing your thoughts at such a time. Chris and I send out heart felt sympathy and are praying for you and your family. Sincerely, Betty and Chris.

  14. Rachel Williams-Smith Reply

    Dear Jennifer Jill, I’m so sorry about your mother’s passing! I appreciate you sharing the pain of your loss with all of us in such beautifully crafted prose! I can identify well with the words, “a long expected shock” and “a dreaded relief.” Two years ago this month that I lost my own precious mother to liver cancer and experienced that myself. I wish words could gentle the loss, smooth away the stunning reality of one who has always been there now being gone, but the mind cannot understand with such things and words will do little to help. But I send love and caring your way, and I pray that God will hold you close during this time in His loving arms!

  15. Ericka I Reply

    im so so sorry dear Jen. 🙁 prayers and hugs. i guess you’ll join the club of people for whom the holidays bring mourning as well as joy. my opa died around christmas as well 🙁

  16. ilean Ford Reply

    What a touching tribute to your mother! My soul was fed and blessed as a result. May the God of all comfort who gives us the comfort (2 Corinthians 1:3, 4), continue to provide you with comfort. You have offered His comfort through your ministry and now prayers are offered that this comfort will be the warmth for your soul as you mourn the loss yet again, of that of a loving, caring mother. Peace to you, dear sister-in-Christ, peace.

    ilean Ford

  17. Jeanine Goodwin Reply

    Loss is never easy; losing a parent to death is absolutely earth-shattering. I mourn with you, Jennifer. I also pray God sits with you as you grieve and that you know and rest in His presence. May the Lord bless you and keep you; may Be make His face shine upon you. The Lord be gracious into you and give you peace.

  18. Danielle Century Reply

    Dear Jennifer, my heart is sad for your loss. It was a lovely tribute to her life and I was happy to see the pictures. May the Lord finish His work in us so he can return very soon. We will all arise to something new and beautiful which God is anxious to share with us. Many blessing to you and family in 2021.

  19. Rick Desmond Reply

    i remember your classy Mom. She seemed proud and amazed at her dear daughter. May your memories of her bring great joy as you wait for that wonderful day!

  20. Annie P. Reply

    Jennifer, I’m so sorry to hear of your loss. May you find comfort and peace as you hold on to the promise of a better world … to come soon. God be close to you, my friend.

  21. Jane Foll Reply

    Hi Jennifer,
    You’ve selflessly poured yourself out for so many people over the years, sending the rays of God’s love and comfort to those He has placed in your path. May you now receive all that you have given, and more, from the righteous right Hand of the Lord who alone understands the depths of the grief that you are facing. Death, and the resulting grief, are like foreign invaders to our hearts that were created for love and relationships! May you experience God being your Jehovah Jireh, providing a place of peace and comfort, especially in those moments when the pain erupts unexpectedly, threatening to overwhelm you. May God hold you closely in His arms!
    Love and prayers,
    Jane Foll

  22. Kara Reply

    Oh Jennifer, I’m so sorry for your loss, and I truly understand, as nothing prepare you for that finality, and you know they would never have done that to you if they had a choice, as they loved us beyond what we deserved!! The hand that can’t squeeze back…reminds us they would want us to keep going so we can see them SOON!! Hoping for heaven to come SOON!!

  23. Elizabeth Yeagley Reply

    I am so sorry that you lost your mother. I don’t think anything can prepare you to lose your mother! Oh how we long for Jesus to come back and bring an end to this pain and suffering on this earth. Thank Jesus for giving us hope and a future with loved ones!

  24. Kerubo Reply

    Oh Jennifer…:( My heart goes out to you! It’s very hard to watch an individual with so much love and spunk for life have her outward behaviors and mannerisms altered by a brain disease…very painful to watch! Any parent, but especially a mother, THE Mother, the first face you recognized above you as a snugly babe!

    i love how you ended your note—though your mother is dead, your hope IS NOT!!! That’s the very best part. Because one day soon, death will lose her sting, the grave will no longer have a job description, gravity will lose it’s hold, and ALL the Israel of God, resting in their dusty beds will rise n be caught up to meet King Jesus in the sky…!!!

    What a day THAT will be, and not too long now. Let us hold fast our confidence; He said He would come and He NEVER LIED YET!!!

    May God embrace and comfort you and your loved ones during this time of sorrow and heartache.

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